Ways to Connect with Your Child Before Bed

"Children will not remember you for the material things you provided, but for the feeling that you cherished them." - Richard L. Evans

Connecting with your child before bed can be a very sweet and meaningful part of your bedtime routine. The days are long, and as it comes to an end, you both have lived your own experiences. It is nice to come together and connect. There are a few ways of connecting with your child, and doing any of these will help build and strengthen your relationship with your child.

"The most important thing that parents can give their children is unconditional love." - Joyce Meyer

Reading books! Reading books before bed is a great way to build on your child's communication skills. Hearing a variety of sounds and books opens their language to new opportunities. Each night I get my son to pick two books to read. Sometimes it may be the same two books for many nights in a row, but that is what is relevant to him and what he wants to read. Getting him to pick the two books helps provide an opportunity for him to work on his decision-making skills as well as his counting skills. Books can be a lot more than the words in them; they can be making up the story by looking at the pictures or asking what they notice. Depending on the age of your child, you could ask them to read the book to you. My toddler loves to make up stories, and if it is a book that we have read a lot, he can, in his own words, go through the pages and tell me the story. Getting them to read the story builds their confidence in their literacy abilities. Taking this time to sit down and read together is also a way to help build your child's attention span. Reading books before bed is a great way to connect even as they grow up; reading picture books can turn into reading chapter books! These simple moments support your child’s development while also strengthening your connection.

Singing songs together is another way to connect before bed! Simple nursery rhymes like Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, The Itsy Bitsy Spider, and Zoom Zoom Zoom, We Are Going to the Moon are all short and simple songs that you can incorporate gestures with. Incorporating gestures helps children connect the words. Singing songs every night is also another way to build your child's vocabulary and introduce them to many different sounds. If you sing the same ones often, they will start to join you, and it turns into a wonderful bonding moment before bed! This is a simple and effective way to support early language development while connecting through routine.

"Kids don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." - Theordor Rossevelt

Another way to connect before bed is by looking through photos from their day. Maybe they spent the day with you at home; you can capture some photos to reflect on together before bed and talk about what they were doing and feeling. If they go to childcare, most places these days upload photos and videos throughout the day. Take a peek together and engage in conversation! If you would like a screen-free version of this, you can use family photo albums, talking about who is in the picture and what is happening. This is a wonderful way to connect with your child and help build their memory by talking about what they did earlier that day or on a previous day! Building these conversations will also enhance their language and communication skills.

"Family time is sacred time and should be protected and respected." - Boyd K. Packer

This next way to connect with your child before bed is a game I learned from a former parent of a child in one of my classes. The game is called Rose, Thorn, and Bud. Each night, your child chooses a rose, which is sharing something positive that happened, like a success, and then you and your child can discuss this. Then, they pick a thorn, which is a challenge or problem they experienced that day. This provides you an opportunity to come up with your child a few ways to solve this problem and build trust in you. Then, they choose a bud; this is something they are looking forward to for the next day. This game helps you and your child have conversation starters, build trust with each other, and be reflective in their life with you. This game is a little difficult to do with younger children, but children 3 years and up should be able to do this game and it is a great way to end their day!

Finally, shadow puppets are another simple and meaningful way to connect before bed. Using your hands and a soft light, you can create different shapes on the wall and turn it into a fun guessing game. As you play, you are naturally building your child’s vocabulary by naming animals or objects, while also supporting their cognitive thinking as they try to figure out what each shadow could be. For younger babies, this can be especially engaging, as they are drawn to high-contrast visuals and movement, making the experience both calming and stimulating. For toddlers and older children, it can feel like a game of Pictionary, encouraging imagination and back-and-forth interaction. As they begin to try making shapes themselves, they are also developing hand-eye coordination and fine motor skills, all through a simple, connected moment together.

Bedtime is more than just the end of the day, it is a chance to slow down and reconnect. A nurturing and consistent bedtime routine can truly set your child up for a good night of rest, helping them feel calm, safe, and ready to settle. These small, consistent moments help your child feel supported and understood as they transition into sleep. Whether it is reading a book, singing a song, playing a simple game, or talking about their day, these routines build connection, trust, and lasting memories. As your child grows, the routines may change, but the feeling of being close, heard, and cherished is what stays with them.

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