Risky Play Part 1: Why Letting Your Child Take Safe Risks Matters

I was recently asked in an interview how I would explain risky play to parents, and it really stood out to me. It’s such an important topic, and one that often brings up a lot of questions, so it felt like the perfect one to share here.

 "If your gonna make your kids tough, which they better be if they're gonna survive in the world, you can't interfere when they're doing dangerous things carefully." -Jordan Peterson

Risky play offers powerful opportunities for children to learn and grow. The key is not removing risk altogether, but providing developmentally appropriate challenges that allow children to learn how to do potentially dangerous things safely and with awareness.

As Jordan Peterson shares, “If they are safe and doing it with caution, don’t interfere. Let them have a chance to think for themselves and navigate the path through problem solving.” Children benefit from having the space to explore, take small risks, and experience the edge of their abilities in a supported way.

A helpful way to look at risky play is this: the learning and developmental benefits children gain often outweigh the risk itself. When we step back and allow these moments, we are giving children the opportunity to build confidence, problem solve, and truly understand their own capabilities.

Let’s look at a simple everyday example. A toddler standing on a step stool, like one used to reach the sink, gains so much more than just independence. Climbing up and jumping down supports multiple areas of development at once.

Physically, they are building strength, balance, and coordination as they climb and land. Cognitively, they are learning about cause and effect, distance, and risk, figuring out how high they are and how to safely get down. From a social and emotional perspective, they are building confidence, independence, and a sense of capability as they take on new challenges. Even communication can be supported as they describe what they are doing or respond to guidance. What may look like a simple moment is actually rich in learning and development across many areas.

And even when things don’t go as planned, there is still meaningful development happening. If a child slips or bumps their arm, those moments also provide important learning opportunities. They begin to understand how to better move and position their body, adjusting their coordination and balance for next time. At the same time, they are building confidence as they decide when and how to try again. If they do get hurt, even in a small way, they are also learning emotional regulation, figuring out what helps them feel better, whether that is a hug, reassurance, or encouragement for trying. These moments of trial and error help children not only learn what to do differently next time, but also build resilience, self-awareness, and trust in their own abilities.

One important thing for parents to understand is that risky play is never about forcing a child to do something they are not comfortable with. It is about creating open-ended opportunities that invite challenge and allow children to test their skills at their own pace. The choice always remains with the child.

If a child is not ready, they are not pushed. And if they do choose to participate, a parent, caregiver or educator is there to guide, support, and ensure safety when needed. It is a balance between allowing independence and being present to step in when necessary.

A few years ago, I worked with a group of 5-year-olds who loved climbing a low, sturdy crab apple tree. For some children, it became a space to challenge themselves, moving carefully from branch to branch. When they felt unsure, I would guide them step by step, helping them find a comfortable way to move or safely get down. I stayed close, observing and supporting, ensuring they were not at risk of serious injury.

Not every child chose to climb, and that was just as important. Some children played nearby, while others watched and learned from a distance. Children will take on challenges when they feel ready. I would gently encourage those who seemed interested but hesitant, but never force participation. The growth and development those children gained through climbing was far greater than if I had removed the opportunity out of fear they might fall.

Language also plays a powerful role in how we support risky play. It is easy to default to phrases like “be careful” or “watch out,” but these do not give children the information they need to assess the situation.

Instead, using clear and descriptive language helps children build awareness and problem-solving skills. For example, saying “watch your foot on that branch, it looks slippery” or “look ahead, there is a root on the path” helps them understand what to look for and how to respond. This builds their ability to assess risk independently over time.

Another important perspective is recognizing that we will not always be there to guide every step. Children need opportunities to experience manageable risk so they can learn how to think for themselves, assess their surroundings, and make decisions.

Through risky play, children develop problem-solving skills, build self-confidence, learn to cope with challenges, and begin to understand their own limits and safety.

Explore more on early childhood development, and how to support your child’s milestones:

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